ASC Pt. III

It's been almost a year since I wrote in here... I don't know why I'm going to even start again, but I am. ASC... Anti-Social Commentaries... five years ago, it was the only place I could turn, only place I could really be myself and now I find myself turning back to this old place in need of some change or conclusion.

A lot has happened in the last year. It's hard to believe it's been year since I met this girl. A year? Where did it all go?

Well, her name is Anna... and to be honest, I kind of really like her. Actually, if you asked me if I loved her, I would tell you that I did. In love with her? I don't know... but who she is as a human being the way she makes me feel... then yes, I love her.

Over the last year, she and I have become close. I haven't felt the things I feel for this girl for another single soul... yea, I can't even lie. The things I feel for her, I have never felt for anyone else.

I'm starting to ramble about the past year so I'll sum it up in a line - I totally crushing on this girl. In spite of our pretty good friendship, I have these immense feelings for her. And now, she's leaving me for 10 months to go live in Australia. I feel a lot of things changing right now and the main thing is that I know for certain that she and I will never ever be anything more than just friends. In my heart of hearts, I know this and I've known this for quite sometime, but I've had this underlying optimism inside of me hoping she just might open her eyes to see what I feel for her and maybe see that there might be something special between us.

And now she's leaving. I know it's not the end of the world, but it has me scratching my head. I'm a little dizzy... I'm a little sick... I'm a little confused. And I'm tired... I just thought this might have been the right time. But I guess it's just a case of "The right time, the wrong situation..." oh, Del Amitri, you speak my life sometimes.