ASC Pt. III

It's 9:30 am, my first day of winter break (minus those two days for exams) with Regis & Kelly on in the background and I find myself in tears... yea, my day has just begun as I just woke up a few minutes ago, and I find my self crying? I'm fucking emotional.

Is it better if someone's out of sight and out of mind? Like, will it all just go away if I just never hear from someone again? This oddly is not about the usual person I usually write these things about. It's about this girl I was kind of obsessing over with last year... I like her, plain and simple, but more than that... I just really really really like her. And, I saw her last week and I thought "Man, I've missed her so much." It seems like I've been trying my best to forget about a lot of things over the course of this semester... just so many things. Purposely or not, this out of sight of mind thing was working for me. I wasn't thinking about Anna as much since we're both so busy and can hardly find the time for one another. When the semester first started, I found my self searching high and low for this girl, but then I just kind of gave up my search, then, BAM!, on my last wednesday of the year, there she was, outside of my morning class at the start of my 4 1/2 break...

So why the tears now? I guess... well, I'll get into it. I just signed up for facebook... yea, it's the latest craze... and I searched for her profile (Yea, I'm such a stalker). And there she was, all pretty and stuff... and then I was reminded that last week, when I saw her, she said that she was going to e-mail me and that we should do something. She didn't e-mail me. Granted, this is "suicide week" so she must be busy. Myself, I've had 20+ pages of essays, an exam, and a number of essay proposals to write for the winter semester to write within the last week, so, she's probably been just as busy as I've been. But, I've been checking my mail, and not just my inbox, but also my spam folder just in case her message ended up there. So yea, it hasn't. So maybe she just kind of said that as a means to get out of the situation and leave... however, she did have my e-mail set to memory, though she's never e-mailed me before, so that could be a good sign, right? I dunno...

I guess I'm going to give it a week or so, and I'll add her on facebook because, no matter how you think of it, she'll never be out of sight as she's always on my mind.

P.S. that last line was just really pretty, not necessarily true.