I'm a little scared right now. I can't pinpoint or explain it. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to wake up to another day and I just want to prolong this kind of odd and awkward feeling for awhile.
I'm strung out and stressed and overwhelmed and underwhelmed... Yea, I know, underwhelmed is not a word. I know it's not because I looked it up.
Why is it this way? Why am I constantly freaking out? Why is it just so horrible.
I need to write a paper by Friday on Inspiration and I can't figure out what to write about. I need to write about a kind of happy feeling. I'm thinking of going back five years and talking about this experience I had a few years ago. I was at work and everything in my day just pinpointed to "Anna"... a vacuum, a song, the word "like"... I think my "essay" should be about "Pinkerton" by Weezer and how for the last ten years it has meant so much to me and in a lot of ways it destructed me, mirrored me, and represented me in so many different ways, in some ways representing me before I ever knew what feelings it was even trying to express.
Okay... here's the outline:
1) Tired of Sex - "Why can't I be making love come true?" - How at 14 years old it really summed up my want, no, my need to fall in love.
2) El Scorcho - Chorus - How, in spite the odd situation, I feel for "Anna".
3) Across the Sea - All of it really - Flash forward five years, I lose her, I want her - the Vacuum.
4) Falling for you - "I'm shaking at your touch" - Forward another year - I fell in love
5) No Other One - How I couldn't let her go
6) Butterfly - the idea that I was probably just as at fault as she was and how I need the hope of falling in love just as much if not more than actually falling in love... and maybe do a cyclical thing with turning it back to Tired of Sex.
Feedback appreciated.