ASC Pt. III

It was a long day... not in a bad way for once, which is good.

I woke up and baked cookies. Why? I can't really explain. I make the world's greatest chocolate chip cookies and I felt like making some as a pick me up over the sad little rut I've been in and the overwhelming amount of school work I have to do over the next two weeks. I made about two dozen and ate two myself, leaving me with 22 cookies to dispose of. Since I didn't really have anything important to do today and was avoiding my essay at all costs, I packed the cookies up and decided to visit an old friend I hadn't seen in awhile.

I went to her store and our meeting went as such:

I walk into the store and she greets me with a hug.

Her: Hey you!

Me: Hey.

Her: What are you doing here? And why are up before noon on a sunday morning?

Me: You know me, a late saturday night for me all depends on the musical guest on SNL and I baked some cookies and thought you might want one.

I pull out my tupperware and hand her a cookie.

Her: Oh my god, I haven't had one of these in like two years.

She takes one out of the container.

Her: Oh my god, how are you single?

Me: Cuz girls tend not to date guys they think are gay.

Her: No one thinks you're gay.

Me: Then why didn't you and I ever date?

Her: We're like brother and sister and it would be incestous to think about us in any other way.

Me: But god, why my ficticious sister have such big boobs?

Her: You're god's walking punchline... I'm like really busy organizing a million things in the store. Wanna get lunch sometimes this week?

Me: Sure.

I'm sure we won't get lunch. I miss her a lot sometimes. In a lot of ways, she was the closest thing to a sister I've ever had.

So after I saw her, I passed by the Asian Supermarket and bought some Pocky. Does everyone know what Pocky is? If you don't, I suggest you search for an Asian market of some kind and ask for it before it is the greatest thing ever. Anyways, I remember telling someone at work about Coconut Pocky last night and said I would come in on my day off today and give her some. And I did. Her response? "You're the sweetest guy ever." I kind of just smiled at the comment and then went home.

When I got home, my download of the Lakehouse finally finished so I decided to watch it and I balled like a baby. I keep flip flopping on the idea of love and if it will ever happen for me. I don't know if it ever will, but the fact is that the hope inside of me will always be there... at least I hope that it will.

Anyways, yea... I bake, I'm nice, and I like girly movies. It's funny how a lot of girls I know always say that I should have a girlfriend or that I'm good dating material or something like that, but I bet the idea of me being with one of them has never ever entered there mind. But, to be honest, I guess since I don't really see any of them that way, the same goes for me. I'd like to think there's something out there for me, but I'm not as hopeful as I used to be. I used to be sure that it would work out, but now I just hope that it will...

Maybe I'm not good boyfriend material. I think I'm just a good friend, which in a lot of ways is a better thing to be.

I want to open up more, but it's hard to when you don't know what you're holding back.