ASC Pt. III

It feels like I just keep on wasting my days. Even when something good happens, it feels so short and momentary. Nothiing seems to last with me anymore, as if what I do today is so completely unimportant because whatever I do tomorrow will be written on a completely blank state. I don't know what that means, but it sounded smart and it kind of makes sense.

I'm going to a wedding on saturday. I don't really know any of the people there so it could be okay. I don't know. Maybe I should watch Wedding Crashers in hopes to hook-up. Yea, right... I would never do something like that. I'm a great wing man though. I'm a great combination of annoying, humorous, and trusting to the point that girls know they can trust me, but could never see themselves with me. Yea, it sucks being me sometimes.

I wonder why that is? Maybe I'm just not attractive. But aren't I a good guy? I mean, don't I deserve someone. Sure, I'd eventually fuck up the relationship, but don't I deserve the opportunity to fuck it up? Actually, I think this girl I met last week totally liked me... it didn't really dawn on me until later, but I think she kind of liked me. I didn't feel the spark from her actually... I very rarely feel that so it's no big deal. I don't know, she probably just thought I was humorous and thought it was cute, not that I'm cute.

I know a lot of guys who befriend girls in hopes that it will lead to something else, where they think that they can wear the girl down into falling in love with the guy. I'm not like that at all. I have a lot of female friends and with pretty much all of them (except for one who is a girl I once had a relationship and one that I totally have a crush on) I'm just good friends with. If you don't view your friend as an equal then you really aren't friends.