ASC Pt. III

I've been bitching about my brother a lot lately...

The thing that bothers me about him the most is his voice. He recently got a job as a salesman (I'd rather not say what product) and he was practicing his "pitch" on me and he used this tone in his voice which I have always called his "White Voice". It's this voice that he puts on in front of people he doesn't know, as well as other people he does know, some of which are his "closest" friends. As we were driving around today, his friend called his cell phone and immediately his voice went into white mode. It was at that moment that everything clicked with me... when he uses that voice, the same voice he uses to sell vacuum cleaners, he's trying to sell himself to people. When he uses that tone, he's not being himself, he's not comfortable, and he's not trying to represent himself... he's trying to sell this idea of himself that I can't quite pinpoint. He's trying to sell himself off as someone who he obviously isn't. He portrays himself differently to different people. He wants to be liked, but the person they end up liking is a person who isn't really him.

I'm really pist at the guy right now. He's not someone I like knowing, and more importantly, not someone I like having as my sibling. If you heard him talk in the white voice, it would seem like he's someone completely in control and as if every single move and decision he made was made in certainty and confidence.

He was recently fired from a job that, when he explains it, seemed like hell. As if it was a completely unbearable place and that he was better and smarter then everyone else in the office. It's fucking sick of little my brother respects the world. He thinks he should be the president of any company he works for within two weeks of working there. Just because you may be smarter than someone else in the office or perhaps you've figured out better ways to do things... big whoopity-doo! Wow, you figured something out. So what! It's their office, not yours. They make the rules okay, and you can't expect to change the place within a few weeks because you think your way is better.

He has no fucking life at all. I really, really wish my parents would kick him out of the house. Why? Because then he might learn something. He goes from job to job thinking that each one isn't good enough for him. He's too good for work? Dude, get over yourself. You think it's going to be fun? Just because you have no life and no real friends and no one to tell you that they love you, doesn't mean you have to be completely pathetic, but in your case you are. You think your job is going to represent who you are? Get a life. Just fucking get a life.

He doesn't think that he has to suffer at all in life... he said that himself. He doesn't think that he should suffer in a job... fuck you. Just fuck you... I don't know why this is really pissing me off so much. It's just so pathetic that he thinks he's going to be the greatest thing in the world while all he does is waste his time with hobbies he doesn't really enjoy and past times that won't get him anywhere and people who really don't give a fuck about him.

And the saddest thing of all is probably that I'm his own brother and I really don't give a shit about him because he is just a horrible person that is selfish and self-centered and doesn't appreciate a single thing that has been handed to him... I think I went a bit far with this, but I'm really pist off...

If I were his father, I would kick him out of the hosue and put a bit of reality into him. He'll never be happy with a job because he has completely unrealistic expectations of the real world. You maybe my older brother, you have to fucking grow up. You don't have a fucking thing worth living for and I don't know if you ever will.