ASC Pt. III

I don't care... I just don't care. I think I may be the last person on the face of the earth that believes in love anymore, but I really don't care god damn it. I don't know if it will ever happen, but I will hope there is a chance.

How did I become this underlying optimist? Why is it that most everyone I meet - male, female, vegetable - their sex lives are almost jokes to them and the concept of actually caring about someone is the most laughable part to them. Yea, I know a lot of people in "good" relationships too... but they're mostly jokes too. People who met at 15 and are afraid to search from someone else... says the guys who still has feelings for a girl he fell in love with at 15. I know a lot of people who have been together since high school and sport a promise ring. A promise ring? What the fuck is that? I promise to promise to marry you one day? Fuck that... just go all out and call it an engagement ring. Those get called off just as much.

I'm pissy right now... I just watched both Bridget Jones's Diary movies and in me there is this hope, but at the same time there is this anger towards the majority of people I know that just take it all for granted. Love and loving someone and the idea of actually meaning everything to someone, it's become nothing to them... and essentially nothing to each other.

I've had a really long day. I woke up at 6 and just haven't been in a good mode for most of it. Something just hasn't been clicking right today. I'm just growing bored with people with too much rhyme and reason and not enough faith... because if you don't have faith, you end up not believing in anything.

My inspiration is divine...

... that line will make sense later on.