ASC Pt. III

Empire Records quote - Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear?

I love that movie... at least I used to. When I was 12 or 13, i just absolutely loved that movie. A pre-Jerry MaGuire Rene Zellwegger looking oh so hot, a great soundtrack featuring an extremely underrated bad called the Gin Blossoms, and of course, Liv Tyler in a mini kilt.

Those were the days... the mid 90's, my pre/early teens. Things meant something to me, things improving or at least on the change. But the quote just popped into my head earlier because I all I can really think about are my own thoughts. Let me explain...

It feels like every thought I've ever had, every dream I ever dreamt, every feeling I've every felt... it's like I've already felt them before and, some of harsher feelings, feel like they've been stretched out over a long period of time.

The heartbreak...

The Sadness...

The broken down qualities...

It sucks. I know, I'm the type to dwell, but it's like I asked to be this way. I don't know if people ever really change... like really. I think in their core, people remain somewhat similar to who they were at 12, 13, 14.

I just watched Jackass Number Two (hilarious by the way) and do you think those guys are much different now then they were back when they were making the first movie? The TV show? Their teenage years? These guys had it right. They knew when they were happiest and they stayed there. Why do you have to grow up? Why do you have to change? You don't. You really don't and you really shouldn't. Because maybe it's good to feel the comfort in all my same old feelings. I'm not going to find any new feelings. Even if I fell in love again, it would still just be love again... a great feeling, but a feeling I've already had. Maybe after the first time it gets wartered down.

I don't know what I'm talking about anymore... I think throughout the course of writing this my thesis changed once I started talking about Jackass... at first I was feeling really down about the same old things, but now I'm thinking it's not sad bad.

Maybe we are who we tried to be when we were trying to discover ourselves because underneath every mask is your real face, even if it's covered in make up...

Gina: What is this? Some sort of joke?
Deb: No, you're the joke.

And with that Empire Records quote, I'm done for now.